#18 Games

If you play a game of "just the tip" make sure they're 18 and consenting. Otherwise you have to buy them dinner and in this economy that's just expensive.

#17 The Perfect Relationship for People With No Free Time

1. We meet.
2. You cheat on me.
3. I write Ugly Betty fan fiction while plotting elaborate revenge fantasies.
4. Cry.
5. Write angry blog post about it.
6. Repeat.

#16 Cultural Differences

If you ever wanted evidence for how backwards Canada can be then consider this; Quebec is their deep south.

#15 Relationships

Dating is like a can of Sparks. It's sugary, citrusy, and full of fail. And having multiple of both always ends in disappointment, waking up with a hangover, and not knowing who the person next to you is.

#14 Dress Code

Pants are the noose that restrict freedom of movement and form. Fight for freedom by not wearing any.

#13 - Collapsing Modern Civilization

To effectively collapse society and cause Generation Y and Generation Myspace to tear itself apart, all one has to do is instigate a game of "Murder, Marry, Screw" and turn it into a Facebook meme that everyone posts on.

#12 - California Geography

Humboldt County, Santa Rosa, and Fresno comprise the armpits and asshole of California. If you live there then your sole purpose in life is to get out. If you don't agree, then you either never been to these places, or are proud to be a Californian Redneck.